Unfinished

Last weekend, I went to the launch of the 5th issue of locally and independently printed magazine, Marbles at the Lighthouse bookshop here in Edinburgh. Marbles is a magazine that covers all aspects of mental health and destigmatisation and it counts on the contributions of people who live with mental health problems. In the words of the founder and editor Kirstyn Smith, Marbles intends to provide you with "plasters for your sanity" or, as I see it, with an outlet for self-expression for when your heart hurts. 

One of the things that interest me about Marbles is this exploration of creativity in the healing and recovery process.  This is the second launching event I attended and I always leave feeling inspired to do something to foster my own creative juices. Contrary to popular belief, creativity is a skill and as such, it is possible to foment its development. 

The theme of the 5th issue is Unfinished. It's about starting and not finishing, or not even starting at all, because our mind plays tricks on us sometimes. 

And Unfinished brought me back here...

I've had the idea to start this particular blog since my first year of University. I'm now halfway through the second and this is my first post.

When I was a boring teenager in school, I had blogs for years and years on end. I'd write about everything and anything that'd interest me and would read other people's blogs, normally of the same genre. This was before blogging was supposed to be serious or even well written. I'd use it as a means of self-expression, without any pressures to be good at it. I'd connect with others over our shared teenage angst and boredom and as far as I remember, that used to be enough. 

Perfectionism kills creativity though and that's why I've left this blog unfinished and unstarted for months ever since I wrote the About Me page. Every so often, I'd come here to jot down some ideas on things I definitely was going to research, learn more about and write about. But I'd never actually start. I have great ideas, but no confidence, no trust in my own ability to write, even though I used to love to do it. So what to do about it?

Following the stream of new year's resolutions that always seems to energise us all, I promised myself I'd make an effort to write more. I keep a journal to vent all my frustrations, but I also want to write a  blog where I explore everything that interests me, just like in those old times. Only this time, my interests are more focused. I want to talk about mental health and I want to be real about it. We're all tired of those flowery, inspirational life-hacks and tips that will definitely change your life but that no one can keep up with, because, however well-intentioned, they're vague and impersonal and empty. And for emptiness, sometimes all I need to do is look inside myself (*sad violins*).

I think Kirstyn is right. Sometimes, we can't change the world all at once. Sometimes, though, all we need are wee plasters for our soul. Let this blog be one more bright plaster. Can I have a Frozen themed one, please?